Non-Violence and Truthfulness – Exploring the Yamas to Nurture Love

Happy February, Friends!  During this beautiful winter month when some of us celebrate Valentine’s Day with our respective partners, I invite you to open your hearts to, perhaps a different kind of love – Love for Others.  Today, I’ll be introducing a Yoga Philosophy concept called the Yamas and I’ll provide examples of living out a few of these tenets so that we might give, and maybe receive, love more freely.    

Eight Limbs of Yoga

Last month I provided an overview of the Eight Limbs of Yoga which, in a nutshell, is a set of guidelines on how to live a meaningful and purposeful life, written about in the “Yoga Sutras of Patanjali.”  Alternately, it has been described as the Eight-Fold Path to Spiritual Righteousness or Transcendence.   If you missed that post, or you are new to my site, I invite you to read that here. 

Now, I’m excited to research, write, and share with you, a series of posts, where we break down each Limb, one by one.  Today’s topic, naturally, is the first Limb of Yoga, the Yamas.  In preparation for this post, I have been reading the book The Yamas & Niyamas – Exploring Yoga’s Ethical Practice by Deborah Adele, which I’ll be quoting and paraphrasing occasionally here. 

Yamas – Restraints

The Yamas, roughly translated as ‘Restraints,’ are a collection of 5 ethical considerations to help us guide our interaction with others.  These are in order, English then Sanskrit – Non-violence (Ahimsa), Truthfulness (Satya), Non-stealing (Asteya), Chastity or Moderation (Brahmacharya), Non-coveting (Aparigraha).

The Yamas, along with the second Limb, the Niyamas, or Observances, are sometimes likened to the 10 commandments.  However, these moral guidelines transcend religion, not to mention, race, ethnicity, age, etcetera.  All people can (and should) practice these concepts. 

Non-violence (Ahimsa)

The first Yama is Ahimsa, or Non-violence.   This moral tenet is pretty self-explanatory on the surface level, but as usual, when a concept seems so simple, there usually exist underlying notions to explore.  

Maybe you think you have nonviolence down pat. But I like to joke, that just because we’re not wandering around punching people, or participating in arms dealing, or what have you, there are other ways we can be more cognizant of nonviolence. 

To help me understand the Yoga Sutras and the Eight Limbs of Yoga, I read a Commentary, which explains,

“It (Ahimsa) can have more subtle meanings, however, with respect to types of harm that are less visible or concrete, such as verbal violence that causes emotional harm to another individual or being.  The most subtle of all are the ways in which thought itself may be of a harmful nature, even if it is not acted upon”

STUART RAY SARBACKER & KEVIN KIMPLE – “THE EIGHT LIMBS OF YOGA, A HANDBOOK FOR LIVING YOGA PHILOSOPHY”

Guilty over here!  Every time I zone in on a new facial wrinkle or blemish and internally berate my reflection, I slip with respect to this first Limb of Yoga.  I’m sure we can all work on practicing the yama of non-violence more in our words and thoughts, including our judgement toward others. 

Alternately some people translate the concept as non-violence to animals – which leads to lifestyles of vegetarians, vegans, or those rejecting leathers, furs, etcetera. 

Truthfulness (Satya)

The second yama is Truthfulness, or non-lying.  And non-lying is defined as intentionally misleading by obscuring the truth.  I think we can understand how being truthful is the right thing to do, morally.  But to take it further, for the Yogi who views the Eight Limbs as a path to liberation, the commentary adds,

“The logic behind satya as a yogic virtue is that truth is in conformity with reality and that knowing the reality of things is a critical element of spiritual development.” 

This can apply to the lies we constantly tell ourselves. We’re not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough ,etc. Once we embrace the truth mantra, I Am Enough, we are liberated. As simply and eloquently stated, “The Truth shall set you free.”  (quote from Jesus, via Martin Luther King Jr.)

The marriage between Non-Violence and Truthfulness

Also interesting to note, also from the commentary “yoga emphasizes that satya (truthfulness) should always be in the service of ahimsa (non-violence).” We should not be brutally honest, or overly forthcoming with information or critical which can do more harm than good. 

Or, this author likens the relationship to a marriage, writing,

“The marriage of these two guidelines creates a powerful dance between two seeming opposites… As partners, truthfulness keeps nonviolence from being a wimpy cop-out, while nonviolence keeps truthfulness from being a brutal weapon… Their union is nothing short of profound love in its fullest expression.” 

The Yamas & Niyamas – Exploring Yoga’s Ethical Practice by Deborah Adel

Example – Choosing Truthfulness

Allow me share an example.  My 6-year-old daughter, Maia, has shown an interest and, I believe, a talent for drawing.  As any child does, she naturally comes to me with every piece of artwork, exuberantly demanding if I like it.  Up until recently, I always confirmed, and was subsequently rewarded with a smile.    

Now that I’ve seen a few hundred examples of her artwork, I am able to discern when she takes the time to draw well, and when she hurries and produces a sloppy sheet.  Ether way, she still presents it for my immediate approval. 

Recently I received said artwork, that was not up to her usual standard.  When asked if I liked it, I thought, “No.”  In practicing Satya, I could have replied No.  In denying Satya, I could have told a lie and said, “Yes.”   Yes would maintain the status quo.  Yes would not yield a sulky or tantrum-y child.  Yes was tempting! 

But recognizing Satya’s marriage to Ahimsa, I came to a compromise that did not obscure the truth, and provided kind encouragement with gentle criticism.  I said something like, “I would like it better if you added more detail.  Maybe you could draw it again a little slower.” 

Or how about this example, for my childless readers: Due to the rising cost of Cereal, I recently purchased a generic brand. My husband noticed right away and complained. I had to restrain myself from uttering, “Hey NewsFlash, Grown Men should not be eating Cinammon Toast Crunch. It’s for the kids!” Um, that wasn’t un-true, right!? Sorry to call you out, Mark, but I thought it was a funny coincidence with this month’s topic. Here’s my non-lying edit – “Honey, I think you shoud try to make healtheir breakfast choices – love you!”

These are obvoiusly simple examples.  I’m sure you will encounter a situation that elicits a more challenging balance between truthfulness and non-violence, but I hope this presents the choice you’ll make in new light. 

Moments of Disruption

Over the past few years, I’ve been struggling with my temper.  A vice I did not know I possessed until I had children!  I love them, but boy do they know how to push my buttons.  In my best moments, when they misbehave, I know I have two options – to either explode with anger, or to choose an alternative, more loving method of behavioral instruction, now I can define this as the yama – Ahimsa, which I’ve not mastered yet. 

My temper, gives me a hint of the personal trait that could stand to develop further.  The commentary explains this better here:

“These moments of disruption, where we face our own limitations…can be quite instructive as difficult but important opportunities to grow spiritually.  Our responses to these moments are not only pivotal with respect to our own spiritual life, but may well constitute one of the ways that we have a profound impact on others.”

STUART RAY SARBACKER & KEVIN KIMPLE – “THE EIGHT LIMBS OF YOGA, A HANDBOOK FOR LIVING YOGA PHILOSOPHY”

Example – Choosing Non-violence

As promised, here’s my second example: The other day, I was reading to my three-year-old in his bed before nighttime.  Mid-book, unprovoked, the little demon leaned over and BIT ME IN THE BOOB.  Stunned, I yelled, “OUCH!” 

I attribute my subsequent behavior to many years of yoga.  I was (barely) able to “restrain” (Yama) from uttering the various curse words that erupted in my head.    Instead, I said, “We don’t bite people.  I’m going to get a band-aid.”  And I left the room before my baser instincts kicked in. 

I invite you to recall the last few words of the quote above, “we have a profound impact on others.”  Honestly, I was just trying not to swear, but here’s a poignant end to my story.  

In the middle of the night, the same child woke me up to pee – he’s still night-time potty training.  I helped him, he finished up, and then he looked at me with the most angelic face and asked, “Did you get a band-aid?”  Now, this was 4 hours after the incident, and I was half asleep so it took me a second to understand that he remembered the Bite, and this was his way of apologizing and showing compassion for me.  I wonder if he would have behaved different, had I behaved differently? 

In our moments of stress, we make choices how to respond, which will be remembered by others.  Let’s strive to take the high road, and be remembered well.  Easier said than done, I know. 

The Divine in me sees the Divine in you

Have you ever met someone who is always, no matter the circumstance, noble and kind?  Maybe you assumed that individual didn’t possess all their metaphorical marbles?  Right!?  I bet you’re picturing him or her now.  For me, I recall one of my Yoga Teacher Trainers.  She was so patient with all her students, and always appeared a little aloof, with this overarching sense of peace.  Which can come off as a little…slow, you know? 

But now, I think I get it!  These honorable humans are not dumb or slow, rather, they are Accepting of all.  There is a saying in Yoga Speak, that goes something like this, “The Divine in me sees the Divine in You.”  I translate this as: when I see someone I don’t like, I tend to either judge him or avoid him.  In contrast, when this other breed of beings sees someone, anyone, they are able to see the good in them, and not their flaws.  This is why they have that peaceful, annoying look on their face, because they are just so pure, and accepting, and loving.  They are free, from the burden of negative thought.  These people have mastered the Yamas!  Though they may call them by a different name.   And I now aspire to be like them.  Care to join me? 

Love for Others

Have I given you a lot to think about with the first two Yamas of Nonviolence and Truthfulness?  I certainly wrote more than I thought I would, so I will leave there remaining Yamas of Non-stealing (Asteya),  Moderation (Brahmacharya), Non-coveting (Aparigraha) for a future blog post. 

In conclusion, let’s tie these 2 Yamas into our monthly intention; I believe that the overarching theme behind them, is Love.  Specifically, Love for Others.  I don’t mean in a romantic way like you love your partner.  I mean this as a pervading sense of respect, kindness, and compassion to all within your sphere of influence – your family, friends, coworkers, and community. 

And further, what I find interesting is that, as the First Limb of Yoga is Yamas, or Love for Others, when we’ve achieved this, we can graduate to Love for Ourselves.  Which, could be summarized as a broad overview of the Second Limb of Yoga – Niyamas or Self-Observances – spoiler alert. 

With that, I’ll leave you with one final quote, short and sweet, “But first, Love.” which is abbreviated from the bible verse below. 

Happy Valentines Day, friends. 

I would love to hear your thoughts, experiences, and perhaps challenges with the first two Yamas.  Comment here or message me, or drop in for an in-person yoga class!